Re: [mylifeismine] What to do?? Friend's hubby is a cheater.....

Hi Lana,
Having recently expreienced a very similar scenario, I am able to share that in such an instance it was important for me to follow my conscience. I carefully thought about what I would like a friend to do if she knew some information about my partner - I know that I would like my friend to tell me what they know, and allow me to make an informed decision for myself.
 
I felt that if I kept this information from the person in question I would not be operating from a place of honesty, and therefore deceiving both my friend and myself. I knew I ran the risk of incurring her anger should she misinterpret my actions and words, but I also knew that a healthy friendship would allow me to understand her hurt if she chose to direct it toward me in her need to release her feelings, and that I would always be there for her regardless.
 
What has followed is that she appreciated my honesty, and later found out that there are others who have known the same information but chose not to tell her for fear of her reaction.. She has been more upset to find out that people did not honor her right to know the truth than she was in finding out her partner was with someone else. I guess she had her own suspicions anyway.
 
Perhaps this might guide you, I think we should honor our friends right to know the truth, and always be truthful in our friendship with them.
 
All the best, Gail

From: lana.ingham <lana.ingham@yahoo.com.au>
To: mylifeismine@yahoogroups.com.au
Sent: Monday, 16 February, 2009 9:39:25 PM
Subject: [mylifeismine] What to do?? Friend's hubby is a cheater.....

I hope that I can get some ideas off some of you here....
One of my best friend's husbands is a cheater - and she has no idea...
I know this is a fact - he has hit on me and also a few other mutual
friends. At first I thought he was just joking but one of my friends
has found his profile in a singles site and he is definately trying to
get the women. He is succeeding too if one can believe what he has
told her in there (he has no idea who he is sending messages to with
her; as she has not let on who she really is to him. Just seeing what
he says to her.)
I don't know if I agree with that part. But the part I know I really
don't agree with is the fact that he is DOING this and his wife has NO
idea and it would devastate her if she knew.
Apparantely he has done this for years, he isn't a youngen by any
means - he is pushing 64-65 years old. I just don't know what to do or
whether to do anything about it anyway.
But then I talk to his wife, my best friend and I feel so sad about it
all.
What does a person do in this situation???
Any ideas will be very appreciated.


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