--- In mylifeismine@
>
> Don't know about how far it is away!! I seem to be headed in the wrong direction...
>
Well, it's not far away at all. If you're looking outside yourself, then you're looking in the wrong direction.
Actually we already have all the answers within ourselves.. yet we're too wrapped up in the fearful darkness of our fear-riddled mind. Dunno his context, but one of Einstein's many great quotes is ~ "We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking that created them."
Our fight-flight emotions feed us with energy, but when it's only our ego in social 'danger', there's no "sabre-tooth tiger"/physical thing to deal with, so the self-protective [i.e. fearful/angry] thoughts keep running around, wanting to control our environment. Going that way is the "wrong direction".
Push those thoughts out to arms-length distance and - without judging (just acceptance that "what is, is") - purely watch them as though you're an angel impartially observing some other person. As Eckhart Tolle puts it so well (apologies I don't have the beautiful full stanza quote with me), "The beginning of freedom is the realization that you are not the thinker ..." (we are a thing with this field of awareness/conscious
Anyway, let's get to your key answer: help is 1-30 minutes away - simply as along as it takes you to find a calm place (appropriate music may help) and really relax, and focus your consciousness (awareness) on your body or breathing. This takes our attention away from the stream of thoughts coming out of our egoic mind (which is scarred with habits of fearful thinking we learnt when [vulnerable] children). Then there is room in our awareness for loving thoughts to enter from our intuition/subconsci
It can be helpful to ask Spencer Johnson's ("One Minute for Yourself") question, ~"What is the best way to care for myself right now?".
Know that it's perfectly normal and okay (even after years of daily practice in taking some calm time-out) for fear-driven thoughts/feelings to still enter your awareness. Just remember you are "the watcher", not your thoughts or feelings.
Just "hug" them with thanks for their messages that want to protect you, then let them go.
(If this seems hard at first, use the Sedona Method of releasing (which is a third alternative to suppressing or expressing):
Could I allow this feeling to be here?
Could I welcome this feeling?
then cycle through
Could I let this feeling go?
Will I let this feeling go?
When?
without being concerned whether the answer is 'yes' or 'no', as expained fully at http://www.sedona.
which is a site full of good advice actually)
This listening to our intuitive ("right brain") self can also be complemented by (analytical "left-brain"
- writing a private journal
- talking with a CBT/RET therapist or at least someone who can listen empathically and help you get past the emotions and ask the right questions,
- methods like the previously recommended & very cleverly illuminating www.TheWork.
These help us see the dysfunctional thought habits and reveal the underlying unhealthy beliefs (like "I am not good enough" or "I must ..." or "Life should be fair" or "People must always be loving and trustable") that are the nub of our challenges.
As Sangita suggested already as a great way of getting to a calm place, we also need to exercise - (1) in order to burn up that fight-flight psycho-physical energy and (2) because this is another method which takes our awareness away from that stream of fear-driven thinking.
Look into "mindfulness" too.
As a final note, beware that 'must control my environment' [WRONG - that may be impossible - leading unconsciously to more fear] (egoic mind's) fear-full thinking often leads us to distort our beliefs about 'reality' (a solution that our brain imagines which fits with our sensations of objective "actuality" and prior beliefs).
(Observe some of the crazy things we may say when angry energy gets us reacting before our brain can process beyond black & white thinking.)
Fear of pain often leads to denial (the first stage in grief i.e. fearfully reacting to changes our environment)
Likewise, because the 'reality' the brain perceives depends on those prior thoughts and beliefs. So, as had already been mentioned (and per The Secret), when you feel bad, it's good to give thanks (it's perhaps the simplest form of loving) - think of a few things one can grateful for, however small, or a fond memory.
Thankfully, the more we do these things, the easier it gets.
It only lack of practice that makes it seems 'hard' to get our (judgmental) mind out of our way.
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