| Hello all Aahh sufferring! Why some people why not others? Are they somehow better than us? Or are they also sufferring in a way we know nothing about? All I know is never ask the question why me? That is simply one of the worst questions you can ask your self. I really liked Ivan's advice and I hope Kim you can benefit from it. I hope you are away from the violence now. Every person deserves to live with dignity and I wish each and every person on this planet would realise that. Really Kim try not to get overwhelmed and concentrate on the simple things. Like you said mopping the floor is an achievement. Trust me I have seen people with less problems than yours who cannot or rather will not even do that much! One step at a time and before you know it you will have lived a peace ful, productive and happy day - week - month - year. Ivan I wish you would not use the word wasted about any experiences in your life. They can't have been wasted years. You must have learned valuable lessons and now is the time to apply them. Its never too late. Never never. Accept the responsibilty of your mistakes, no matter how big. Yo do have the strength to do it. David I was talking with a good friend about your problem and the conclusion this person presented me was simple. You KNOW you are wrong. But you want to have your cake and eat it too. What do you want from this group? You said you were looking for a solution but seriously looks like you just want us to pat you on the back and mollycoddle you and tell you "its all right, everyone makes mistakes, dont worry, take your time to figure it out". This thing might blow in your face buddy! Or maybe you really are tired of your wife and children?!
Regards Sangita
--- On Tue, 16/6/09, Iskander Alam Chowdhury (Ivan) <iivan76@yahoo. com> wrote:
From: Iskander Alam Chowdhury (Ivan) <iivan76@yahoo. com>
Subject: Re: [mylifeismine] lost
To: mylifeismine@ yahoogroups. com.au
Date: Tuesday, 16 June, 2009, 12:49 PM
Hi Kim
I read you mail very care fully and sorry for all the suffering. Good thing is about you is now you opening up to your self . After suffering and not knowing being ignorant you have gone through enough. Its time for you to say NO to suffering and enjoy the peace.
I read lots and lots of self development book . That is where i found freedom. Don't stick your self to food tv and bed in your home . Go out to the nearest library , Sit down from morning to Afternoon, read books as much as you like . Know there are people in your situation. If one of them ask you to help them how would help them ?
Meditation is a very good way to connect you with your mind and soul . Its not a rocket science and it will not give you any result just in a day. I recommend 10 minutes meditation every day two time for 40 days and you can see change.
Also a good way to keep your self out is write down each and every difficult moment. Keep your room full of pen and little notebooks ... write down who are you angry with? What is your fear at the moment . Why do u think what is happening is happening ...
My story
I been abused by my uncle sexually in my childhood ; I could not let my parents know about this even today (now i am 33) . My sexuality change from straight to gay. I knew I am gay but was not happy with my identity. I was always in denial with my self and always was angry with every thing . I acted as straight man infront of my friends and family . I knew from then on that I am living a duel life . Its very difficult world for me . I was sex from men I want love from women. To make big story short , year 2000 I came to Australia as a student and got my degree, residency and citizenship. Thats good thing.....with that I fall in love with a self deniel guy . I wasted 5 years . I wasted deep love .I wasted so much of me. I cant reveil in words. Then I just come to a decision " Its only you who can give your self happiness " . Nothing else matter. No relationship nothing .
I start a journey for my self. I want to be a public speaker and a counsellor . I want to teach people that life is a big gift and they have choice. Each human been is made through light of God and they have so much potential in them.
(by the way can one give me suggestion , how can I start on this ? )
I am wishing all of you a very happy life.
Ivan .
--- On Mon, 15/6/09, Kim Hillier <kanga4282@yahoo. com.au> wrote:
From: Kim Hillier <kanga4282@yahoo. com.au>
Subject: Re: [mylifeismine] lost
To: mylifeismine@ yahoogroups. com.au
Received: Monday, 15 June, 2009, 3:47 PM
this is a little bit about myself.i grew up in a domestic violence situation. i married into domestic violence. my children & myself suffered through it.i have had depression most of my life.my shrink says i will never be able to go off my medication. i also have PTSD,OCD, heart condition,and numerous other things.i have 2 daughters, only 1 speaks to me.my life has been hell at times but i am trying so HARD every day 2 try and stay positive even if its just that i mopped the floor. no my house is not a pigsty. not sure exactly what im trying to say here my mind has been racing all day. have a great day everyone
From: Gail <positiveeq@yahoo. com.au>
To: mylifeismine@ yahoogroups. com.au
Sent: Saturday, 13 June, 2009 9:06:55 AM
Subject: Re: [mylifeismine] lost
David, morning, May I suggest a starting point to begin from? Take a minute to re-read your post very carefully: you may see that you are defining yourself as 'piss weak' and as a person who 'does not care about the consequences' . Now ask yourself, is that who you wish to be, is that the way you wish to live? Sounds like there is very little self-respect. . No one can give that to you, you create it by words & actions. SO the answer is simple: Choose to behave, think & speak according to the standards you respect. From there you will become an honest person with self-respect, & will not make these choices that cause misery, and you will find strength not to give in to temptation or make excuses for the suffering you cause to yourself & others. Self-respect = strength & courage; lack of respect = weakness; misery & pain. Is it really confusing, or do you choose to make it appear that way so that you can continue to excuse your actions/decisions? Don't delude yourself, be honest.... Have a read of Byron Katie (google her page): as she says, we all create our own story/version of reality to suit ourselves. She then asks, What is Your Story? She asks you to do 'The Work', that means, be honest & act according to the answers you discover. All the best, Gail
From: david johnson <camarosa10000@ yahoo.com. au>
To: mylifeismine@ yahoogroups. com.au
Sent: Thursday, 11 June, 2009 4:53:09 PM
Subject: [mylifeismine] lost
hi guys, all of you are right but i am still so piss weak and feel that this could be my undoing and feel that i dont seem to care about the consequences, but i know that its a load of shit of course i will care if i dont end it.....can anyone help? guide me tell me how to get over it please
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