My Life Is Mine: 07/06/09

Re: [mylifeismine] Re: Reflections on "Bad Memories"

Hi,

Everyone of us have some bad memories that is accompained with you for the rest of your life. We need to know how to live with these memories and not IN that memory all times.

I hold my brother´s arm when he was trying to kill himself with the gun. My Dad was holding the other arm. We could not avoid the fate. He died on our arms. Hard to forget, but life goes on...and i am on stage of life... till my time comes.

wish you guys all the best, don´t give up...yet...

igor

--- On Sun, 5/7/09, matthew naughton <mattynaught01@yahoo.com> wrote:

From: matthew naughton <mattynaught01@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [mylifeismine] Re: Reflections on "Bad Memories"
To: mylifeismine@yahoogroups.com.au
Received: Sunday, 5 July, 2009, 1:05 AM

walk away?

i dont think so

i wish you well

From: perry enriquez <perryenriquez@ yahoo.com>
To: mylifeismine@ yahoogroups. com.au
Sent: Sunday, 5 July, 2009 2:30:41 AM
Subject: [mylifeismine] Re: Reflections on "Bad Memories"

Dear Matthew,

No flip comment. No quote. Did this happen to you? Or is it hypothetical? Whatever it is, HOW you live your life AFTER is ultimately up to YOU. Can you ever erase the bad memory? Maybe not BUT you can WALK AWAY from it. Otherwise what choice is there? Make the noose? In this regard, I can only NOT recommend. After all, this is NOT what this forum is for.

Matthew, one day, our mortal lives will end. When that day comes, we shall leave EVERYTHING behind - bad memories included! I choose to leave these bad memories HERE and NOW. That is not a flip comment, nor is it a quote. It is a FACT!

It is YOUR call. It is YOUR life.

Perry

--- In mylifeismine@ yahoogroups. com.au, matthew naughton <mattynaught01@ ...> wrote:
>
> one man holds you down as another rapes you
>
> can you ever erase that?
>
> no flip comment or quote will help there
>
>
>
> ____________ _________ _________ __
> From: perry enriquez <perryenriquez@ ....>
> To: mylifeismine@ yahoogroups. com.au
> Sent: Sunday, 5 July, 2009 1:52:05 AM
> Subject: [mylifeismine] Reflections on "Bad Memories"
>
>
>
>
>
> On any bright day, your shadow follows you - everywhere. Once in a while you might notice it. But would it bother you?
>
> You get daily spam on your email: do you read them? or simply delete?
>
> A dog looks at you with that, "'ey what's up?" quizzical look on it's face. Worth remembering?
>
> A cat stares at you, as if saying, "'ey I'm a cat, and you're not." Worth remembering?
>
> A baby in a pram smiles at you. Worth remembering?
>
> Perry
>
>
>
>
>
> ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
> Access Yahoo!7 Mail on your mobile. Anytime. Anywhere.
> Show me how: http://au.mobile. yahoo.com/ mail
>

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Re: [mylifeismine] Re: Success Inc.

dear sangita , what you said about comparing tragedies is so true.i believe anyway. i am a survivor and proud of it. i cant say that i would want to sit down and have a cuppa and a chat with different people but i dont wish them any harm either just want to get on with living my life to the fullest i can

From: sangita borgave <sangita142002@yahoo.co.in>
To: mylifeismine@yahoogroups.com.au
Sent: Monday, 6 July, 2009 9:02:47 PM
Subject: Re: [mylifeismine] Re: Success Inc.

We don't want to compare tragedies. Saying to one person my life's worse then your's' does'nt get us anywhere. To each person his or her own tragedy is the worst no matter how trivial it may seem to another who has sufferred far worse. We must all respect each others sorrows.

Yes suddenly just as you are doing well, are upbeat on a good path something suddenly happens to drag you back to the wretched memories of the past. And we feel discouraged. At such times it is best to accept that feeling and that memory quietly and gracefully. At this point in life all of us must hold our heads high with pride and be able to say "yes!! I survived that! Life tried to shoot me down (with an abusive spouse, drugs, rape, no money, loneliness ) and I overcame it! I stand tall with all my battle scars and I can look anyone in the eye and say yes! I went through that and came out alive, as pure as gold!"

None of us need be depressed or ashamed at what we went through. We survived and thats what matters. I wish that instead of looking back at past tragedies with pain and grief (no matter how bad they were) we could look back with a calm acceptance and a sense of pride at having handled so much. Hold no gruges against people who have treated you very badly - no matter how badly. We really would have happier people on this planet.

I hope I am not sounding too glib or superficial. My sincere feeling is that many people here in this group who have been abused need to realise that despite what they have been through they are amazing people with enormous potential. They are funny and warm and humurous and intelligent. And they can live each day with immense happiness and joy. Does'nt matter how bad another person was to you. There is something wrong with that person, not you!

Warm Regards to all

Sangita

--- On Sun, 5/7/09, Kim Hillier <kanga4282@yahoo. com.au> wrote:

From: Kim Hillier <kanga4282@yahoo. com.au>
Subject: Re: [mylifeismine] Re: Success Inc.
To: mylifeismine@ yahoogroups. com.au
Date: Sunday, 5 July, 2009, 4:49 PM

my list of tragedies is so much longer than that. but i dont let them rule my life they just bite me at times. a noise a smell many things can put you back there where you dont want to be.I do have many good memories though also

From: perry enriquez <perryenriquez@ yahoo.com>
To: mylifeismine@ yahoogroups. com.au
Sent: Sunday, 5 July, 2009 8:04:29 PM
Subject: [mylifeismine] Re: Success Inc.

Dear Kim,

You say I've been living under a rock watching but never experiencing life?

Let me indulge you then. Here is my litany of tragedies:

I could have DIED in 1970 (when I was 10) when a playmate shot me through the mouth with an air rifle. My front tooth shattered. BUT it was that tooth that saved my life.

My best friend passed away in 2002 - not from suicide - but a stroke.. He was 42.

I have pointed a kitchen knife at my own heart when I found out my wife had an affair. (Obviously the knife never went in!)

My biological father was never around when I needed him. BUT in 2002 I visited him - as he had prostate cancer. It was HE (not I) who cried. He passed away soon after.

My first serious girlfriend broke up with me in 1980 just before the FINAL quarter of our graduation year! She moved to Canada and married my high school classmate!

Have I ever gone hungry and without any money to buy lunch for that day? Yes. Have I ever been drunk? Yes. Have I smoked a joint? Yes. Have I taken any prohibited drug? No. Have I visited a prostitute? Guess.

My point? All the above are my "bad" memories. I say now: SO WHAT? I look back with a smirk and a toss on my head - and like Clint Eastwood say, "Go ahead, punk, make my day!"

This ONCE I have indulged you with negativity. When you're ready to MOVE FORWARD, I'll indulge you with the GOOD memories.

Perry

--- In mylifeismine@ yahoogroups. com.au, Kim Hillier <kanga4282@. ..> wrote:
>
> perry to me you sound as though you have lived under a rock watching but never experiencing life.I start my life over every day.i did let go but my memories bite me all the time.that doesnt mean that im always miserable though.On friday my last day of work i had a workmate who was craving drugs hold a knife to my throat and i did respond not react i just told him to go ahead and do it.You have not walked in my footprints or been inside my head so do me a favour dont make out that you have

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Re: [mylifeismine] Re: upset and sad

i have been fighting for many years to stay out of the dark pit but unfortunately i do at times fall back into it.but i always manage to eventually climb out. my therapist has told me my thoughts will always be with me. i just have to try hard to fight them

From: perry enriquez <perryenriquez@yahoo.com>
To: mylifeismine@yahoogroups.com.au
Sent: Monday, 6 July, 2009 7:22:00 PM
Subject: [mylifeismine] Re: upset and sad

Dear Kim,

Matthew sent me an email which he ordered me NOT to publish in this group. (Makes you wonder why not?) I read it and deleted it.

It is one thing to refuse a helping hand. However it is a different matter to choose to bite it! When you extend a helping hand to a man who has fallen in a well, be very careful that he does NOT pull you in instead (then you'll BOTH be in the same predicament) .
It is for this reason that I decided to let him go.

Dear friends, when our mortal lives on this earth comes to an end, we shall leave EVERYTHING behind - including our "bad" memories. I CHOSE to leave these "bad" memories behind - HERE and NOW. That is my challenge to you. After all, when you joined this group, did you intend to climb out of the well, or stay in it?

Perry

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Re: [mylifeismine] upset and sad

thank you sangita. today i decided to stop torturing myself and put her photos and some other belongings away fir the time being. i figure if they are not in my face all the time maybe i wont hurt so much..i don't know if this will work but its worth a try.afterall she will always be in my heart.

From: sangita borgave <sangita142002@yahoo.co.in>
To: mylifeismine@yahoogroups.com.au
Sent: Monday, 6 July, 2009 6:22:39 PM
Subject: Re: [mylifeismine] upset and sad

Hi Kim

of course you are not going to be kicked out of the group! I am sure there has been a misunderstanding, please don't be upset. Its Monday morning here and I am just sorting through my messages along with all the Monday morning work. Am trying to make sense of what has happened.

How are you holding up? You know I have been thinking about you and your problem with your daughter. I know that children can be at their worst and very harsh with their parents. For e.g. I am often angry with my father because I feel he did not help me to make a right career choice and that I could have had a different (and better ) life if I had chosen differently.

What kids fail to realise that parents too are painfully human and vulnerable and most of the times do the best they can for their children.. They can make wrong decisions but not out of malice.

But kids are unforgiving. Also you mentioned an abusive partner. So I wonder if your daughter is taking out that frustration on you. Thats a common thing for kids to do. I mean if the father was a abusive then the kids will vent their feelings on the mother despite the fact that she is the one who has been tolerating a lot to keep it to-gether for the kids. Not fair but so true!

It pays to take a philosophical view of your problems no matter how painful they are. Sometimes we wonder why we are the ones facing so much in life when others seem to have it so easy. And I dont know the answer to that. Life can be so unbearable at times. But at such times it is best to make some tough decisions and decrease some of the pain at least.

Like I told you as far as your daughter is concerned you just have to decide that you are not going to let her words affect you. Just realise that the words are not so important - its just some unpleasant feelings that she seems to want to unburden.

Just stay calm and strong. With this attitude of yours there is a high chance that she may realise her mistakes. It must be tough being a parent and this is your tough time. Let her get the feeling that yes, you are her mother but at the same time an individual who will not tolerate any bad words. You will never know if she wants to be in touch with you or wether she is ever going to come back to you.

Just stay positive and strong and enjoy the love of your other child.

My hopes and prayers are with you.

Warm Regards

Sangita

--- On Mon, 6/7/09, Kim Hillier <kanga4282@yahoo. com.au> wrote:

From: Kim Hillier <kanga4282@yahoo. com.au>
Subject: [mylifeismine] upset and sad
To: mylifeismine@ yahoogroups. com.au
Date: Monday, 6 July, 2009, 4:02 AM

I hear that matty has been kicked out of the group.apparently because perry doesnt like him, what am i next ??? Matty is inconsolable at some of the things that were said to him from perry. he is also inconsolable at being kicked to the kerb,so to speak.

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Re: [mylifeismine] Re: Reflections on "Bad Memories"

Here I am with Perry. Not to be in any way unsympathetic to Matt but I agree with Perry.

Rape is a whole differant can of worms. I may not have been raped but as a woman who on some occasions has faced sexual harrassment like millions of other women I can imagine at least a little if not all of the pain. Rape is the worst of crimes as it cuts you to the very soul. To live down such pain must be unthinkable.

But you have to walk away. At some time. Because you are better than the animals who did it. Because your life means something. Because you are a nobler and stronger person.

To keep going to that dark place is to give your tormentors that power. The memories will keep coming I suppose till the day you die. All you can do is not fight them and calmly distract yourself. Do anything. Tell your self that, that memory does not have the power to destroy your present moment any more.

All I can say is peace be with you. You have to walk away. You must! Its all you can do. Entertain no thoughts of revenge - just walk away.

--- On Sat, 4/7/09, matthew naughton <mattynaught01@yahoo.com> wrote:

From: matthew naughton <mattynaught01@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [mylifeismine] Re: Reflections on "Bad Memories"
To: mylifeismine@yahoogroups.com.au
Date: Saturday, 4 July, 2009, 10:35 PM

walk away?

i dont think so

i wish you well

From: perry enriquez <perryenriquez@ yahoo.com>
To: mylifeismine@ yahoogroups. com.au
Sent: Sunday, 5 July, 2009 2:30:41 AM
Subject: [mylifeismine] Re: Reflections on "Bad Memories"

Dear Matthew,

No flip comment. No quote. Did this happen to you? Or is it hypothetical? Whatever it is, HOW you live your life AFTER is ultimately up to YOU. Can you ever erase the bad memory? Maybe not BUT you can WALK AWAY from it. Otherwise what choice is there? Make the noose? In this regard, I can only NOT recommend. After all, this is NOT what this forum is for.

Matthew, one day, our mortal lives will end. When that day comes, we shall leave EVERYTHING behind - bad memories included! I choose to leave these bad memories HERE and NOW. That is not a flip comment, nor is it a quote. It is a FACT!

It is YOUR call. It is YOUR life.

Perry

--- In mylifeismine@ yahoogroups. com.au, matthew naughton <mattynaught01@ ...> wrote:
>
> one man holds you down as another rapes you
>
> can you ever erase that?
>
> no flip comment or quote will help there
>
>
>
> ____________ _________ _________ __
> From: perry enriquez <perryenriquez@ ....>
> To: mylifeismine@ yahoogroups. com.au
> Sent: Sunday, 5 July, 2009 1:52:05 AM
> Subject: [mylifeismine] Reflections on "Bad Memories"
>
>
>
>
>
> On any bright day, your shadow follows you - everywhere. Once in a while you might notice it. But would it bother you?
>
> You get daily spam on your email: do you read them? or simply delete?
>
> A dog looks at you with that, "'ey what's up?" quizzical look on it's face. Worth remembering?
>
> A cat stares at you, as if saying, "'ey I'm a cat, and you're not." Worth remembering?
>
> A baby in a pram smiles at you. Worth remembering?
>
> Perry
>
>
>
>
>
> ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
> Access Yahoo!7 Mail on your mobile. Anytime. Anywhere.
> Show me how: http://au.mobile. yahoo.com/ mail
>

Access Yahoo!7 Mail on your mobile. Anytime. Anywhere. Show me how.

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Re: [mylifeismine] Re: Success Inc.

Warm Regards to all

Sangita

--- On Sun, 5/7/09, Kim Hillier <kanga4282@yahoo.com.au> wrote:

From: Kim Hillier <kanga4282@yahoo.com.au>
Subject: Re: [mylifeismine] Re: Success Inc.
To: mylifeismine@yahoogroups.com.au
Date: Sunday, 5 July, 2009, 4:49 PM

my list of tragedies is so much longer than that. but i dont let them rule my life they just bite me at times. a noise a smell many things can put you back there where you dont want to be.I do have many good memories though also

From: perry enriquez <perryenriquez@ yahoo.com>
To: mylifeismine@ yahoogroups. com.au
Sent: Sunday, 5 July, 2009 8:04:29 PM
Subject: [mylifeismine] Re: Success Inc.

Dear Kim,

You say I've been living under a rock watching but never experiencing life?

Let me indulge you then. Here is my litany of tragedies:

I could have DIED in 1970 (when I was 10) when a playmate shot me through the mouth with an air rifle. My front tooth shattered. BUT it was that tooth that saved my life.

My best friend passed away in 2002 - not from suicide - but a stroke.. He was 42.

I have pointed a kitchen knife at my own heart when I found out my wife had an affair. (Obviously the knife never went in!)

My biological father was never around when I needed him. BUT in 2002 I visited him - as he had prostate cancer. It was HE (not I) who cried. He passed away soon after.

My first serious girlfriend broke up with me in 1980 just before the FINAL quarter of our graduation year! She moved to Canada and married my high school classmate!

Have I ever gone hungry and without any money to buy lunch for that day? Yes. Have I ever been drunk? Yes. Have I smoked a joint? Yes. Have I taken any prohibited drug? No. Have I visited a prostitute? Guess.

My point? All the above are my "bad" memories. I say now: SO WHAT? I look back with a smirk and a toss on my head - and like Clint Eastwood say, "Go ahead, punk, make my day!"

This ONCE I have indulged you with negativity. When you're ready to MOVE FORWARD, I'll indulge you with the GOOD memories.

Perry

--- In mylifeismine@ yahoogroups. com.au, Kim Hillier <kanga4282@. ..> wrote:
>
> perry to me you sound as though you have lived under a rock watching but never experiencing life.I start my life over every day.i did let go but my memories bite me all the time.that doesnt mean that im always miserable though.On friday my last day of work i had a workmate who was craving drugs hold a knife to my throat and i did respond not react i just told him to go ahead and do it.You have not walked in my footprints or been inside my head so do me a favour dont make out that you have

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Re: [mylifeismine] Re: upset and sad

I love your comments Perry - keep them coming - it works for me. Thanks

----- Original Message -----

From: perry enriquez

To: mylifeismine@yahoogroups.com.au

Sent: Monday, July 06, 2009 5:22 PM

Subject: [mylifeismine] Re: upset and sad

Dear Kim,

Matthew sent me an email which he ordered me NOT to publish in this group. (Makes you wonder why not?) I read it and deleted it.

It is one thing to refuse a helping hand. However it is a different matter to choose to bite it! When you extend a helping hand to a man who has fallen in a well, be very careful that he does NOT pull you in instead (then you'll BOTH be in the same predicament).
It is for this reason that I decided to let him go.

Dear friends, when our mortal lives on this earth comes to an end, we shall leave EVERYTHING behind - including our "bad" memories. I CHOSE to leave these "bad" memories behind - HERE and NOW. That is my challenge to you. After all, when you joined this group, did you intend to climb out of the well, or stay in it?

Perry

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[mylifeismine] Re: upset and sad

Dear Kim,

Matthew sent me an email which he ordered me NOT to publish in this group. (Makes you wonder why not?) I read it and deleted it.

It is one thing to refuse a helping hand. However it is a different matter to choose to bite it! When you extend a helping hand to a man who has fallen in a well, be very careful that he does NOT pull you in instead (then you'll BOTH be in the same predicament).
It is for this reason that I decided to let him go.

Dear friends, when our mortal lives on this earth comes to an end, we shall leave EVERYTHING behind - including our "bad" memories. I CHOSE to leave these "bad" memories behind - HERE and NOW. That is my challenge to you. After all, when you joined this group, did you intend to climb out of the well, or stay in it?

Perry

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