Hi Kim of course you are not going to be kicked out of the group! I am sure there has been a misunderstanding, please don't be upset. Its Monday morning here and I am just sorting through my messages along with all the Monday morning work. Am trying to make sense of what has happened. How are you holding up? You know I have been thinking about you and your problem with your daughter. I know that children can be at their worst and very harsh with their parents. For e.g. I am often angry with my father because I feel he did not help me to make a right career choice and that I could have had a different (and better ) life if I had chosen differently. What kids fail to realise that parents too are painfully human and vulnerable and most of the times do the best they can for their children.. They can make wrong decisions but not out of malice. But kids are unforgiving. Also you mentioned an abusive partner. So I wonder if your daughter is taking out that frustration on you. Thats a common thing for kids to do. I mean if the father was a abusive then the kids will vent their feelings on the mother despite the fact that she is the one who has been tolerating a lot to keep it to-gether for the kids. Not fair but so true! It pays to take a philosophical view of your problems no matter how painful they are. Sometimes we wonder why we are the ones facing so much in life when others seem to have it so easy. And I dont know the answer to that. Life can be so unbearable at times. But at such times it is best to make some tough decisions and decrease some of the pain at least. Like I told you as far as your daughter is concerned you just have to decide that you are not going to let her words affect you. Just realise that the words are not so important - its just some unpleasant feelings that she seems to want to unburden. Just stay calm and strong. With this attitude of yours there is a high chance that she may realise her mistakes. It must be tough being a parent and this is your tough time. Let her get the feeling that yes, you are her mother but at the same time an individual who will not tolerate any bad words. You will never know if she wants to be in touch with you or wether she is ever going to come back to you. Just stay positive and strong and enjoy the love of your other child. My hopes and prayers are with you. Warm Regards Sangita --- On Mon, 6/7/09, Kim Hillier <kanga4282@yahoo.
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