Hi Ivan, I appreciate what you wrote. Makes sense. Other people told me to write a book as well. Maybe i should try. Actually i will try. We never know the day of tomorrow. It´s hard to erase all those years in Australia. Yesterday i had a small operation ( taken out the catheter/tube they put to link the liver to eurethra.). Am fine now. Need a week to convalescence. I promise you i will think about of what you said. I will keep in touch. cheers mate.
igorfuchs
Brazil
--- On Wed, 17/6/09, Iskander Alam Chowdhury (Ivan) <iivan76@yahoo.com> wrote:
From: Iskander Alam Chowdhury (Ivan) <iivan76@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [mylifeismine] lost
To: mylifeismine@yahoogroups.com.au
Received: Wednesday, 17 June, 2009, 3:22 PM
Igor...
Please read these following ... and please correct me if I am wrong. After reading your mail It makes me feel that you are giving very negative focus to you current circumstances.
* " i also lived in Australia and could not stay legally. lived there 15 years ilegal. ow am back to my origi country. Am still not happy."
Please don't be unhappy about it. Being unhappy flow of energy focused on negativity. Can you enjoy the time with you family in your country. Are feeling looser some where inside that you dont make a big deal and had to be back in Brazil. Man I am telling you this are ego. How about leave those feelings aside and think about good thinks. At least when you are meditating .
How about writing all the information negative information in a diary. All the monkey chatting in your diary and make promise to your self I am not going to call my self in name . I am not going to behave bad with my self .
How about good things that you experience in Australia that you are missing now writing down. How about writing a book about your experience. Why you have to be illegal and can not come back to Australia . Your sickness you return to Family .. your joy .
You dont have to write them in English ...try in your own language . You probably will think book publishing its a big job and how can I do it ...I would like you focus on writing first.
What am I asking you to do is actually being active taking action. You can see a dream worth billion dollar dream .. to make that dream you have to start somewhere . And good thing is you will always find out that there is something for you to do.
I hope my suggestion make it easy for you . There are lot to talk about but that we can discuss some other day .
With Love
Ivan
--- On Wed, 17/6/09, Igor Fuchs <i_fuc@yahoo. com> wrote:
From: Igor Fuchs <i_fuc@yahoo. com>
Subject: Re: [mylifeismine] lost
To: mylifeismine@ yahoogroups. com.au
Received: Wednesday, 17 June, 2009, 3:07 AM
| Hi Ivan, i understand you perfectly. i am still o denial. i can´t show myself to my family and friends. I had a relationship with a girl for 5 years. but as you said i want sex with man and love with women. its hard.... i also lived in Australia and could not stay legally. lived there 15 years ilegal. ow am back to my origi country. Am still not happy. don´t know what to do. I am seen a counselor. Not sure where is going to end though. Like reading self helh books and doing meditation as well. Am not sure what to look for. But i do know that i have to keep going, cna´t give up.... cheers igor
--- On Tue, 16/6/09, Iskander Alam Chowdhury (Ivan) <iivan76@yahoo. com> wrote:
From: Iskander Alam Chowdhury (Ivan) <iivan76@yahoo. com>
Subject: Re: [mylifeismine] lost
To: mylifeismine@ yahoogroups. com.au
Received: Tuesday, 16 June, 2009, 3:19 PM
Hi Kim
I read you mail very care fully and sorry for all the suffering. Good thing is about you is now you opening up to your self . After suffering and not knowing being ignorant you have gone through enough. Its time for you to say NO to suffering and enjoy the peace.
I read lots and lots of self development book . That is where i found freedom. Don't stick your self to food tv and bed in your home . Go out to the nearest library , Sit down from morning to Afternoon, read books as much as you like . Know there are people in your situation. If one of them ask you to help them how would help them ?
Meditation is a very good way to connect you with your mind and soul . Its not a rocket science and it will not give you any result just in a day. I recommend 10 minutes meditation every day two time for 40 days and you can see change.
Also a good way to keep your self out is write down each and every difficult moment. Keep your room full of pen and little notebooks ... write down who are you angry with? What is your fear at the moment . Why do u think what is happening is happening ...
My story
I been abused by my uncle sexually in my childhood ; I could not let my parents know about this even today (now i am 33) . My sexuality change from straight to gay. I knew I am gay but was not happy with my identity. I was always in denial with my self and always was angry with every thing . I acted as straight man infront of my friends and family . I knew from then on that I am living a duel life . Its very difficult world for me . I was sex from men I want love from women. To make big story short , year 2000 I came to Australia as a student and got my degree, residency and citizenship. Thats good thing...with that I fall in love with a self deniel guy . I wasted 5 years . I wasted deep love .I wasted so much of me. I cant reveil in words. Then I just come to a decision " Its only you who can give your self happiness " . Nothing else matter. No relationship nothing .
I start a journey for my self. I want to be a public speaker and a counsellor . I want to teach people that life is a big gift and they have choice. Each human been is made through light of God and they have so much potential in them.
(by the way can one give me suggestion , how can I start on this ? )
I am wishing all of you a very happy life.
Ivan .
--- On Mon, 15/6/09, Kim Hillier <kanga4282@yahoo. com.au> wrote:
From: Kim Hillier <kanga4282@yahoo. com.au>
Subject: Re: [mylifeismine] lost
To: mylifeismine@ yahoogroups. com.au
Received: Monday, 15 June, 2009, 3:47 PM
this is a little bit about myself.i grew up in a domestic violence situation. i married into domestic violence. my children & myself suffered through it.i have had depression most of my life.my shrink says i will never be able to go off my medication. i also have PTSD,OCD, heart condition,and numerous other things.i have 2 daughters, only 1 speaks to me.my life has been hell at times but i am trying so HARD every day 2 try and stay positive even if its just that i mopped the floor. no my house is not a pigsty. not sure exactly what im trying to say here my mind has been racing all day. have a great day everyone
From: Gail <positiveeq@yahoo. com.au>
To: mylifeismine@ yahoogroups. com.au
Sent: Saturday, 13 June, 2009 9:06:55 AM
Subject: Re: [mylifeismine] lost
David, morning, May I suggest a starting point to begin from? Take a minute to re-read your post very carefully: you may see that you are defining yourself as 'piss weak' and as a person who 'does not care about the consequences' . Now ask yourself, is that who you wish to be, is that the way you wish to live? Sounds like there is very little self-respect. No one can give that to you, you create it by words & actions. SO the answer is simple: Choose to behave, think & speak according to the standards you respect. From there you will become an honest person with self-respect, & will not make these choices that cause misery, and you will find strength not to give in to temptation or make excuses for the suffering you cause to yourself & others. Self-respect = strength & courage; lack of respect = weakness; misery & pain. Is it really confusing, or do you choose to make it appear that way so that you can continue to excuse your actions/decisions? Don't delude yourself, be honest.... Have a read of Byron Katie (google her page): as she says, we all create our own story/version of reality to suit ourselves. She then asks, What is Your Story? She asks you to do 'The Work', that means, be honest & act according to the answers you discover. All the best, Gail
From: david johnson <camarosa10000@ yahoo.com. au>
To: mylifeismine@ yahoogroups. com.au
Sent: Thursday, 11 June, 2009 4:53:09 PM
Subject: [mylifeismine] lost
hi guys, all of you are right but i am still so piss weak and feel that this could be my undoing and feel that i dont seem to care about the consequences, but i know that its a load of shit of course i will care if i dont end it.....can anyone help? guide me tell me how to get over it please
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