I didn't mean to make light of the enormous strain and emotional
turmoil that comes with the end of a relationship. Reading back over
my own post, I can see how it might sound a little shallow and
heartless.
I just wanted to say that just because a relationship does not last
forever, it doesn't mean that it wasn't a success. It is a very narrow
way to judge yourself if you feel you have failed each time a
relationship ends. All relationships end eventually. Either through a
parting of the ways, a wrenching apart of your two hearts or death of
some sort (physical or emotional).
It is very difficult to overcome the damage and hurt that can result
from relationship breakdown. The grief process can be unbearable and
the scars remain for many years. I don't mean to understate that at
all.
I had a number of different relationships before I met my husband. I
felt like a failure in this field - totally. I am very happy now. I
attribute this to the change that came about in me when i got very
very clear about what a successful relationship would mean to me.
My relationship and situation would not suit everyone. It is great for
me. Without going into details (and bragging about my good marriage
;P) let me just say - Make a list of what you want and you will
attract the person and the situation that best suits you.
Use the laws of attraction to your advantage. Meditate on what this
relationship success is and try not to think about the "failures" that
are behind you. They aren't failures, just really intense periods of
personal growth. Say it with gritted teeth through the pain if you
have to.
It may take some time to talk yourself into this way of thinking, and
it will feel weird for a while if you are hurting it might seem wrong.
After a while, your thoughts will change and with that comes a change
in how you feel. Slowly.
It's like working out and getting fit...it can sneak up on you and
suddenly something happens and you say to yourself I think I feel a
bit more positive...just a little bit.
My apologies if I offended anyone with my metaphor. I didn't take the
feedback personally, it was a fair comment.
--- In
mylifeismine@ yahoogroups. com.au, matthew naughton
<mattynaught01@ ...> wrote:
>
> oh i understand that it was a metaphor but i find it sad that so
many are prepared to move on readily when a relationship becomes
difficult
> i think that is what i was getting at sangita
> i think we both have seen that life is not all good and i would say
that we need some adversity to test relationships sometimes
> perhaps i am blind
> i also believe we should do away with war
> i suppose some of these things i think are not possible but they are
where i think we all need to be heading towards
> i have been under enormous stress with fires you may have heard of
them in victoria. i have friends who have lost homes and some, my
oldest daughter included are missing so i am thinking only with some
of my attention
> but i think this is an important point to discuss
> and i hope you did not take it personnaly fiona
>
> love to all
>
> matt
>
> --- On Sun, 2/8/09, sangita borgave <sangita142002@ ...> wrote:
>
> From: sangita borgave <sangita142002@ ...>
> Subject: Re: [mylifeismine] Re: Relationship myths and legends
> To:
mylifeismine@ yahoogroups. com.au> Date: Sunday, February 8, 2009, 10:12 AM
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> I think it was just a metaphor.
>
> --- On Sat, 7/2/09, matthew naughton <mattynaught01@ yahoo.com>
wrote:
>
> From: matthew naughton <mattynaught01@ yahoo.com>
> Subject: Re: [mylifeismine] Re: Relationship myths and legends
> To: mylifeismine@ yahoogroups. com.au
> Cc: fionacomber@ yahoo.com. au
> Date: Saturday, 7 February, 2009, 2:23 PM
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> a house is a pile of bricks
> a person is a soul
> please do not compare and please do not belittle the importance of a
life long relationship of love and commitment
>
> --- On Sat, 2/7/09, fionacomber <fionacomber@ yahoo.com. au> wrote:
>
> From: fionacomber <fionacomber@ yahoo.com. au>
> Subject: [mylifeismine] Re: Relationship myths and legends
> To: mylifeismine@ yahoogroups. com.au
> Date: Saturday, February 7, 2009, 1:58 AM
>
>
>
>
> Hi there,
>
> I don't have much to offer in terms of advice, but I thought that
you
> might benefit from another perspective. Each of your relationships
> could be seen as a journey or an experience rather than an
achievement
> of success or failure. What would a successful relationship be like
> for you? how long would it last? How would you say it's a success
and
> by what definition are you calling it a failure?
>
> Nothing is altogether black or all white. There are positives that
> come from each relationship and the lessons that you can learn from
> the people who touch your lives. Sometimes that is for a short time,
> sometimes that is for much longer. Even if you stay with the same
> person for a number of years, you will grow and change together as
> your needs change.
>
> Not many people live in the same house forever. They move house for
so
> many reasons. It doesn't mean the house was a failure, or that their
> living situation was a failure. It's just a house. Some houses are
> more suitable than others. Some are more comfortable than others,
> some are more expensive too.
>
> it's just a thought...Not the solution for you, but hopefully you
can
> find some hope there.
>
> -- In mylifeismine@ yahoogroups. com.au, "tiffanymeek2000"
> <tiffanymeek2000@ ...> wrote:
> >
> > Hi there everyone
> >
> > My life has been a series of failed relationships since I was 16.
I
> am
> > now 40.. I feel as if I have been duped in some way. I have a
believe
> > system around relationships based on what I have been taught by my
> > parents/friends, and by television/movies/ books. So much of this
> > belief system seems to be myths and legend. Are there men out
there
> > who WANT to have an exceptional life with their female partner?
This
> > is not a sarcastic question, it comes straight from my heart. Are
> > there emotionally available men out there who seek a connection
with
> > their partner on both a physical and mental level? I want a
> > relationship that is so much more than mundane. I want a
> relationship
> > where the differences between men and women are celebrated. I want
a
> > relationship that is built on honesty, openness and trust. I want
my
> > life to be full of joy and I want a partner who wants the same for
> > himself. Is my belief system unrealistic? Should I be prepared to
> > settle for less?
> >
>
>
>
>
>
> Add more friends to your messenger and enjoy! Invite them now.
>
. Why should'nt you - you've earned it!
