Fw: [mylifeismine] An essential difference between men and women??

Thanks for all the thoughts/opinions that have been coming through on this forum.
I have been reading them as they come and have found this topic the first one to make a contribution-

The biggest difference might be that guys tend to hang on until stuff becomes overwhelming. 
We often tell ourselves that things will work out and that everything will be alright.
This is often a delusion as there are so many things that we have no control over.
When things don't work the way we hope/wish/plan and then actually realise this new situation, it goes directly against everything we have told ourselves and want to believe.  So at that point, it all falls apart, and we simply lose the plot and ourselves in the process.
Therapy/counselling is a wonderful thing for both the individual as well as a couple (providing you are both committed).
But you'll only get as much out of the sessions as you're prepared to put in.
That means getting real about your issues and truly talking about and exploring your feelings.
The difference with me perhaps is I'm a Gen-Xer who's taking responsibility for my life fully and not prepared to put up with BS in my life.
 
 
----- Forwarded Message ----
From: Rose Lind <roselind@iprimus.com.au>
To: mylifeismine@yahoogroups.com.au
Sent: Tuesday, 26 February, 2008 7:15:05 PM
Subject: Re: [mylifeismine] An essential difference between men and women??

Well, for me, it is like if I off-load somewhere I have the pay the price.
 
I see a counsellor when necessary and that is not often but a good safety net.
 
I guess it is not in most people's reality that counselling is a movement forward.
 
----- Original Message -----
From: xiaoli ma
Sent: Monday, February 25, 2008 9:26 PM
Subject: Re: [mylifeismine] An essential difference between men and women??

it can be embarrassing to share some things

ANTHONY DWYER <tammyredsurf@ yahoo.com. au> wrote:

THATS RIGHT

Julie Neill <julientuareg@ hotmail.com> wrote:
I was having a discussion last night with two men regarding separation
(surprise surprise). They both agreed that they kept their separation
from their wives a secret for as long as possible (both wives left
them after 25 years +). When questioned they commented that it was
embarrassing to tell people what had happened to them. I on the other
hand told everyone - whether they were interested or not!! My opinion
was share the load!!. Is this a male / female thing and if so why do
men want to keep these things hidden as long as possible?

Julie


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Re: [mylifeismine] An essential difference between men and women??

Well, for me, it is like if I off-load somewhere I have the pay the price.
 
I see a counsellor when necessary and that is not often but a good safety net.
 
I guess it is not in most people's reality that counselling is a movement forward.
 
----- Original Message -----
From: xiaoli ma
Sent: Monday, February 25, 2008 9:26 PM
Subject: Re: [mylifeismine] An essential difference between men and women??

it can be embarrassing to share some things

ANTHONY DWYER <tammyredsurf@yahoo.com.au> wrote:

THATS RIGHT

Julie Neill <julientuareg@hotmail.com> wrote:
I was having a discussion last night with two men regarding separation
(surprise surprise). They both agreed that they kept their separation
from their wives a secret for as long as possible (both wives left
them after 25 years +). When questioned they commented that it was
embarrassing to tell people what had happened to them. I on the other
hand told everyone - whether they were interested or not!! My opinion
was share the load!!. Is this a male / female thing and if so why do
men want to keep these things hidden as long as possible?

Julie


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Re: [mylifeismine] An essential difference between men and women??

I read somewhere about a study done which showed that men were more affected by divorce than women. They found it really hard to get over with it specially if they had been with their partners for a long time. I remember feeling a little surprised by this. Women often think of men as unfeeling and indifferant. But I think men get a lot of self esteem and basic confidence from their wives when the marraige is a reasonably happy one. They want their wives to look up to them at least a little. Women can easily destroy a man's ego sometimes by comtempt, indifferance or lack of empathy. Maybe it hurts a man that someone who he thought would be there forever suddenly decides to leave.

ANTHONY DWYER <tammyredsurf@yahoo.com.au> wrote:

THATS RIGHT

Julie Neill <julientuareg@hotmail.com> wrote:
I was having a discussion last night with two men regarding separation
(surprise surprise). They both agreed that they kept their separation
from their wives a secret for as long as possible (both wives left
them after 25 years +). When questioned they commented that it was
embarrassing to tell people what had happened to them. I on the other
hand told everyone - whether they were interested or not!! My opinion
was share the load!!. Is this a male / female thing and if so why do
men want to keep these things hidden as long as possible?

Julie


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[mylifeismine] Re: An essential difference between men and women??

--- In mylifeismine@yahoogroups.com.au, xiaoli ma <xiaoli_m@...> wrote:
>
> it can be embarrassing to share some things
>
> ANTHONY DWYER <tammyredsurf@...> wrote: THATS RIGHT
>
> Julie Neill <julientuareg@...> wrote: I was having a discussion
last night with two men regarding separation
> (surprise surprise). They both agreed that they kept their separation
> from their wives a secret for as long as possible (both wives left
> them after 25 years +). When questioned they commented that it was
> embarrassing to tell people what had happened to them. I on the other
> hand told everyone - whether they were interested or not!! My opinion
> was share the load!!. Is this a male / female thing and if so why do
> men want to keep these things hidden as long as possible?
>
> Julie
>
>
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Get the name you always wanted with the new y7mail email address.
>
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Get the name you always wanted with the new y7mail email address.
>
I don't know if it is a gender thing. I had put up a brick wall and
no one was going to knock it down. It was a recovery program and
therapy that helped to pull it down, block by block. Anyway secrets
make you sick.
Regards Paul

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Re: [mylifeismine] An essential difference between men and women??

it can be embarrassing to share some things

ANTHONY DWYER <tammyredsurf@yahoo.com.au> wrote:

THATS RIGHT

Julie Neill <julientuareg@hotmail.com> wrote:
I was having a discussion last night with two men regarding separation
(surprise surprise). They both agreed that they kept their separation
from their wives a secret for as long as possible (both wives left
them after 25 years +). When questioned they commented that it was
embarrassing to tell people what had happened to them. I on the other
hand told everyone - whether they were interested or not!! My opinion
was share the load!!. Is this a male / female thing and if so why do
men want to keep these things hidden as long as possible?

Julie


Get the name you always wanted with the new y7mail email address.

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Re: [mylifeismine] An essential difference between men and women??

THATS RIGHT

Julie Neill <julientuareg@hotmail.com> wrote:

I was having a discussion last night with two men regarding separation
(surprise surprise). They both agreed that they kept their separation
from their wives a secret for as long as possible (both wives left
them after 25 years +). When questioned they commented that it was
embarrassing to tell people what had happened to them. I on the other
hand told everyone - whether they were interested or not!! My opinion
was share the load!!. Is this a male / female thing and if so why do
men want to keep these things hidden as long as possible?

Julie


Get the name you always wanted with the new y7mail email address.

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[mylifeismine] Re: Why woun't people do what I want them to do?

--- In mylifeismine@yahoogroups.com.au, "youngpaul2" <youngpaul2@...>
wrote:
>
> It would be great if I could get people to do what I wanted or to do
> everything my way. I'd never have to take responsibility for myself,
> never have to struggle for anything, my wishes and wants granted. That
> really was what I wanted as a child, but now I am suppose to be a
> mature adult of 54 and I can still live in a fantasy world. Over the
> years my mother, friends, girl friends and wife have said " you need
> to grow up, Paul or your so immature, grow up!" It's very difficult to
> grow up when you have know idea on how to do that. Before I got into a
> Program and everything that goes with it, I would try to change but I
> would always return to type.
> I now know the path I have to take, to be a little less immature. I
> am now learning a new formula effort = gains, study = grades. I am
> learning to practice my program. One day at a time. I am not afraid to
> put energy into something I really want, I need to do this for my
> self-esteem.
> I don't always see the results of the energy I have put into thing.
> Other people do, then my motivation, determination and confidence can
> grow. It's an attitude thing, change your attitude and change your life.
> If there's no change there's no change.
> Regards Paul
>
The rewards that come with learning and changing ones self is enough
to continue with hope in our hearts.

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[mylifeismine] Why woun't people do what I want them to do?

It would be great if I could get people to do what I wanted or to do
everything my way. I'd never have to take responsibility for myself,
never have to struggle for anything, my wishes and wants granted. That
really was what I wanted as a child, but now I am suppose to be a
mature adult of 54 and I can still live in a fantasy world. Over the
years my mother, friends, girl friends and wife have said " you need
to grow up, Paul or your so immature, grow up!" It's very difficult to
grow up when you have know idea on how to do that. Before I got into a
Program and everything that goes with it, I would try to change but I
would always return to type.
I now know the path I have to take, to be a little less immature. I
am now learning a new formula effort = gains, study = grades. I am
learning to practice my program. One day at a time. I am not afraid to
put energy into something I really want, I need to do this for my
self-esteem.
I don't always see the results of the energy I have put into thing.
Other people do, then my motivation, determination and confidence can
grow. It's an attitude thing, change your attitude and change your life.
If there's no change there's no change.
Regards Paul

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Re: [mylifeismine] Myself and others

Thanks Perry. And thanks to Paul for starting an interesting topic!

Mo Je <moje43@yahoo.com.au> wrote:

Thanks for reply. You can recognize me easily as a man of around 44 with multicolor beard of ¾ cm long of average height and size


perry enriquez <perryenriquez@yahoo.com> wrote:
BEAUTIFUL!

Perry

--- sangita borgave <sangita142002@yahoo.co.in> wrote:

> I really like this message! I think a sign of
> healthy self esteem is that you can listen to
> someone else without feeling the immediate and
> overwhelming urge to chip in your two cents. If
> you're not insecure then you can camly listen to
> what someone is saying and give it your full
> attention, IMBIBE what the other person is saying
> and give a response from your heart. It is truly
> surprising that there are very few people in the
> world who can do that. When I made this discovery I
> was so surprised! When some one is talking you must
> be able to put a stop on the internal traffic in
> your mind, cleanse your mind of all the chaos and
> just listen. Don't feel threatened. It comes with
> practise. Even if someone says something that throws
> you off balance, if you are calm you can respond
> more effectively. I think this also comes from
> trying to make your self a more Pro-active person
> than a Reactive person.
> Warm regards
> Sangita
>
> youngpaul2 <youngpaul2@yahoo.com.au> wrote:
> A talk show host was interviewing a new
> starlet. Every time he asked
> her a question she watched herself in the monitor,
> listening more to
> herself than to him. Midway through the show, she
> was totally
> flustered trying to watch herself and keep up to the
> shows progress.
> At times we maybe so focused on ourselves that we
> are unable to see
> anyone else. We soon became our own greatest fans,
> watching only
> ourselves and listening only to our thoughts.
> Reflecting on today, we
> maybe conscious of how much we spend talking about
> ourselves or
> focusing attention on ourselves and our issues.
> We can start to change this behavior. Instead of
> spending a few hours
> focused on us, we can focus on a hobby a book or a
> movie like the
> bucket list a real tear jerker. We aren't so
> important that we need to
> keep a constant eye on ourself. There are lot more
> important people,
> places and things to see, I can stop watching myself
> and start
> noticing other. When I think and try to help others
> my simple life
> improves 10 fold.
> Regards Paul
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Bollywood, fun, friendship, sports and more. You
> name it, we have it.

Regards,
Perry

perryenriquez@yahoo.com
penriquez@bigpond.com

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Re: [mylifeismine] Myself and others

Thanks for reply. You can recognize me easily as a man of around 44 with multicolor beard of ¾ cm long of average height and size


perry enriquez <perryenriquez@yahoo.com> wrote:
BEAUTIFUL!

Perry

--- sangita borgave <sangita142002@yahoo.co.in> wrote:

> I really like this message! I think a sign of
> healthy self esteem is that you can listen to
> someone else without feeling the immediate and
> overwhelming urge to chip in your two cents. If
> you're not insecure then you can camly listen to
> what someone is saying and give it your full
> attention, IMBIBE what the other person is saying
> and give a response from your heart. It is truly
> surprising that there are very few people in the
> world who can do that. When I made this discovery I
> was so surprised! When some one is talking you must
> be able to put a stop on the internal traffic in
> your mind, cleanse your mind of all the chaos and
> just listen. Don't feel threatened. It comes with
> practise. Even if someone says something that throws
> you off balance, if you are calm you can respond
> more effectively. I think this also comes from
> trying to make your self a more Pro-active person
> than a Reactive person.
> Warm regards
> Sangita
>
> youngpaul2 <youngpaul2@yahoo.com.au> wrote:
> A talk show host was interviewing a new
> starlet. Every time he asked
> her a question she watched herself in the monitor,
> listening more to
> herself than to him. Midway through the show, she
> was totally
> flustered trying to watch herself and keep up to the
> shows progress.
> At times we maybe so focused on ourselves that we
> are unable to see
> anyone else. We soon became our own greatest fans,
> watching only
> ourselves and listening only to our thoughts.
> Reflecting on today, we
> maybe conscious of how much we spend talking about
> ourselves or
> focusing attention on ourselves and our issues.
> We can start to change this behavior. Instead of
> spending a few hours
> focused on us, we can focus on a hobby a book or a
> movie like the
> bucket list a real tear jerker. We aren't so
> important that we need to
> keep a constant eye on ourself. There are lot more
> important people,
> places and things to see, I can stop watching myself
> and start
> noticing other. When I think and try to help others
> my simple life
> improves 10 fold.
> Regards Paul
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Bollywood, fun, friendship, sports and more. You
> name it, we have it.

Regards,
Perry

perryenriquez@yahoo.com
penriquez@bigpond.com

Get the name you always wanted with the new y7mail email address.
www.yahoo7.com.au/y7mail


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