I am on a rather uncertain path with little or no clue where I am
heading. I was in an abusive marriage for over 26 yrs. I then
divorced him and while on the rebound found and married another man.
Long story short this man now says he dosn't think he loves me or
ever did. He used me in many ways but mostly financially.
I have suffered from depression for about 3 yrs before my first
divorce (at least that long that I saw it.) I continued to treat with
medication after my second (current marriage) up until about a year
ago when I felt I was doing well and slowly stoped meds. About 3
months ago I got to the point of finding myself lying on the floor
sobbing and thinking very bad thoughts and complete uselessness.
I managed to get MYSELF to the doctor and started medications. I
still suffer panic attacks and anxiety.
However, I have made some moves forward. Though small steps I am
once again reclaiming myself. I am working on myself. You proabably
will laugh but the simplest thing has given me hope. That one thing
was to get my feet from being rough to smooth and nice. lol I know
it sounds nuts but as I see the improvement I am becomming stronger
and find myself making plans. Nothing huge but I will get at least
something out of this marriage.
I am looking for support. The panic attacks and anxiety are the
thing that holds me back. Any suggestions or words of wisdom?
Thanks
Sandy
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