Sangita,
Thanks for the response :)
To answer your question, my mother died four and a half years ago...I was just entering my twenties.
I haven't worked on my feelings about my husband. I want to leave him. I saw my mother go through it and hated the man who did it to her..my husband has become that man to me and I have no love left for him. I just have to be better off financially if I want to file for divorce and hope to gain custody of my son.
As far as friends go...I've tried to get in touch with a few. They don't understand...they thought I simply blew them off and aren't interested now. I haven't made any new ones, either. I have panic attacks or just shut down and can't think of a thing to say when I try.
Lol..I haven't been this honest in a long time..a white page is a wonderful medium for honesty apparently. And I'm taking your advice..a good run sounds heavenly.
:)peace and happiness to you...
--- In mylifeismine@yahoogroups.com.au, sangita borgave <sangita142002@...> wrote:
>
> Hi!
> You certainly have survived a lot have'nt you? Reading through your mail made me feel like right now you were on some kind of thresh-hold of life. That's how your mail sounds.
> How long ago did your mother die if you don't mind me asking? The death of a parent is anyway so stressful but to lose him or her to disease must be worse.
> Have you worked on your feelings about your husband? Like I said we are not professional counsellors or anything but we can only offer empathy and support. I only ask because you are still with him.
>
> Can't you get in touch with at least a few of your friends. It sometimes seems like there's no point of too much effort to stay in touch with friends. But honestly friends give some normalcy to life. Your son should also see you bond with other men and women: these things are really important to a child.
>
> The "acting confident thing" really gets my vote! I wish more people would realise this! It really does lessen your problems. A good attitude helps. And for you its even more important - I mean your son is watching you all the time!
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> The age old remedy (well not cure but big help) for depression still is a good hard friggin' workout. Seriously! That will never go out of fashion, cliched as it must sound. No gym required if you can't afford one, just run, walk jog anything till you feel as if you are going to pass out. (All medical conditions considered). And then live the rest of the day in a haze of peace. Seriously find time to do this.
> Your life is yours really.
> Cheers!
>
>
> --- On Tue, 3/11/09, n_reed1981 <n_reed1981@...> wrote:
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> From: n_reed1981 <n_reed1981@...>
> Subject: [mylifeismine] New member, making changes...
> To: mylifeismine@yahoogroups.com.au
> Date: Tuesday, 3 November, 2009, 12:18 AM
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> Hi, I'm a new member...looking for new beginnings and new friends.
> I'm a married recent college grad from MS.
> To let you know a bit about me, here are the issues for which I joined the group:
> I have always struggled with social anxiety disorder. I had a rough childhood, but right after high school, I began to be more at ease and make friends. It has worsened again over the past few years, though, due to stress from my mother's death (a long battle with M.S.A...at the end she could neither speak nor move and was fed through a feeding tube inserted into her stomach, though her mind was intact) and an abusive relationship. My husband was physically abusive and forced me to withdraw from all of my friends, whom I had fought through s.a.d. to make. Two weeks after his worst violent episode, I found out that I was pregnant with his child. We are still together. He is no longer violent, but I have lost all of my old friends.
> I haven't begun my career due to a D.U.I./suspended licence (of which I am really embarassed.. .that was a rare night out with my husband and the only time I had ever driven after drinking), so I'm making minimum wage, and our house is in danger of foreclosure.
> I feel alone..but I am trying to make changes.
> For one, I'm trying to "act confident" and portray an image that is welcoming to people. I'm quitting drinking...next comes smoking. I'm trying to find humor in daily life wherever I can. I'm working extra hours to chip away at debt and focusing only on my child in those precious hours in which I am with him.
> I would love input from you guys...suggestions for depression/s. a.d...and look forward to replying to you as well
> :)
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> From cricket scores to your friends. Try the Yahoo! India Homepage! http://in.yahoo.com/trynew
>
